跳到内容
当前位置:首页>Excel>读书笔记Day33|了凡生意经

读书笔记Day33|了凡生意经

  • 2026-11-07 05:51:53
读书笔记Day33|了凡生意经
【摘抄】
“五福从哪里来呢?从谦德来。这个德,你只要读经典的时候,看到‘德’字,通通可以把它直接翻译成心态。人的心态有很多种,其中有一种心态叫谦德,谦德这种心态直接可以转化为五福。也只有谦德能变为五福,其他的心态都不能完美地变成五福,都有偏。”
—《了凡生意经》

【复盘】
从前我以为“谦”,只是待人客气、说话柔和的一种外在礼貌。读到“谦德是因,五福是果”,内心深深被触动。原来谦,不是演出来给别人看见的低姿态,而是内心还有没有空间去装下别人的想法、看见他人的难处。当一颗心满了,听不进不一样的声音,看不见身边人的付出与疲惫,新的机会与福气,也就进不来了。

听到这句话的时候,我安静下来向内看见自己,看见好多处的“满”。

一、育儿上的“满”:我装满了“我是对的”,装不下孩子真实的节奏

作为妈妈,我熟悉育儿知识,心里早早给孩子安排好成长该有的样子,常常笃定我安排的路径才是最好。
一次孩子写作业拖拉,我心里着急,一上来就想要纠正、催促,笃定是孩子自律不够。孩子低着头不说话。
直到慢下来我才看见,不是他偷懒,是这道题型他卡壳了,心里紧张害怕做错,才迟迟不敢动笔。
那一刻觉察到我的“满”:满是我的标准、我的焦虑,急着去纠正,却没有留出空间去倾听他的卡点。我站在了“我懂”的高位,错过了看见孩子内心的机会。真正要修的,是空掉我预设的答案,先听听孩子的世界。

二、夫妻相处里的“满”:装满了我的委屈,装不下老公的难处与压力

日常扛着房贷、家庭开支,我常常默默担起家里大大小小的琐事,心里会生出委屈,只看到我自己的不容易。
我看见自己的“满”,只看见了我的期待,我执着于我想要,却忽略了他的顾虑。
懂得谦德之后,我慢慢练习不再急于去争辩谁对谁错,试着说出我的期待,也留出空间聆听他的担心,而不是急于想要改变他。

三、自我成长上的“满”:装满已经学到的道理,装不下持续的觉察

一路读书学习、泡各种课程,积累了很多的认知,不知不觉间,偶尔会生出“我已经懂很多了”的骄傲。遇到事情,第一时间就想用学到的道理去分析、评判身边的人与事。
却常常忘了,所有的学问,首要用来照见自己,而不是拿着尺子去丈量别人。我的心满在已有的认知里,就很难再收到新的看见、收到他人身上值得我学习的闪光点。

从前,我把这份“有主见、懂很多”当成底气,以为守住自己的想法,就能护好家庭、走好人生路,可常常在心满的时候,拉扯、内耗随之而来,路越走越紧绷。
今日才醒悟,很多的“自以为是”,都是傲慢。听不见不一样的声音,看不见他人的难处,忽略自己身心也需要休息留白。
真正的谦德,不是退让示弱,而是内心懂得留白,把自己这只杯子空出来。承认我并非什么都懂,看见家人各自的难处,接纳每个人有属于他的成长节奏。心空下来,才装得进孩子真实的心声、伴侣的顾虑,也装得进自己的成长生机,便是五福临门。

明天起,我给自己定一个具体的“空杯”小动作:

1. 和家人有分歧的时候,忍住马上辩解、说服对方的冲动,先停下来,开口先问一句:“可以和我说说,你是怎么想的吗?”

2. 放下“我要教好你”的心,先静心倾听,等对方完整说完,再一起沟通。
福气求不来,只能修,修的,就是那颗常常容易“满”了的自己。
把位置让一寸,福气就进一寸。
基本 文件 流程 错误 SQL 调试
  1. 请求信息 : 2026-11-08 04:47:45 HTTP/1.1 GET : http://h.sjds.net/a/577769.html
  2. 运行时间 : 0.075626s [ 吞吐率:13.22req/s ] 内存消耗:4,199.64kb 文件加载:140
  3. 缓存信息 : 0 reads,0 writes
  4. 会话信息 : SESSION_ID=6713197a9d7d216e9b1bb00a7ae631fe
  1. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/public/index.php ( 0.79 KB )
  2. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/autoload.php ( 0.17 KB )
  3. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/composer/autoload_real.php ( 2.49 KB )
  4. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/composer/platform_check.php ( 0.90 KB )
  5. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/composer/ClassLoader.php ( 14.03 KB )
  6. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/composer/autoload_static.php ( 4.90 KB )
  7. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-helper/src/helper.php ( 8.34 KB )
  8. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-validate/src/helper.php ( 2.19 KB )
  9. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/helper.php ( 1.47 KB )
  10. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/stubs/load_stubs.php ( 0.16 KB )
  11. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Exception.php ( 1.69 KB )
  12. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-container/src/Facade.php ( 2.71 KB )
  13. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/symfony/deprecation-contracts/function.php ( 0.99 KB )
  14. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/symfony/polyfill-mbstring/bootstrap.php ( 8.26 KB )
  15. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/symfony/polyfill-mbstring/bootstrap80.php ( 9.78 KB )
  16. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/symfony/var-dumper/Resources/functions/dump.php ( 1.49 KB )
  17. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-dumper/src/helper.php ( 0.18 KB )
  18. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/symfony/var-dumper/VarDumper.php ( 4.30 KB )
  19. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/App.php ( 15.30 KB )
  20. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-container/src/Container.php ( 15.76 KB )
  21. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/psr/container/src/ContainerInterface.php ( 1.02 KB )
  22. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/provider.php ( 0.19 KB )
  23. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Http.php ( 6.04 KB )
  24. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-helper/src/helper/Str.php ( 7.29 KB )
  25. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Env.php ( 4.68 KB )
  26. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/common.php ( 0.03 KB )
  27. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/helper.php ( 18.78 KB )
  28. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Config.php ( 5.54 KB )
  29. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/app.php ( 0.95 KB )
  30. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/cache.php ( 0.78 KB )
  31. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/console.php ( 0.23 KB )
  32. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/cookie.php ( 0.56 KB )
  33. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/database.php ( 2.48 KB )
  34. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/facade/Env.php ( 1.67 KB )
  35. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/filesystem.php ( 0.61 KB )
  36. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/lang.php ( 0.91 KB )
  37. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/log.php ( 1.35 KB )
  38. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/middleware.php ( 0.19 KB )
  39. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/route.php ( 1.89 KB )
  40. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/session.php ( 0.57 KB )
  41. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/trace.php ( 0.34 KB )
  42. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/config/view.php ( 0.82 KB )
  43. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/event.php ( 0.25 KB )
  44. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Event.php ( 7.67 KB )
  45. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/service.php ( 0.13 KB )
  46. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/AppService.php ( 0.26 KB )
  47. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Service.php ( 1.64 KB )
  48. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Lang.php ( 7.35 KB )
  49. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/lang/zh-cn.php ( 13.70 KB )
  50. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/initializer/Error.php ( 3.31 KB )
  51. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/initializer/RegisterService.php ( 1.33 KB )
  52. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/services.php ( 0.14 KB )
  53. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/service/PaginatorService.php ( 1.52 KB )
  54. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/service/ValidateService.php ( 0.99 KB )
  55. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/service/ModelService.php ( 2.04 KB )
  56. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-trace/src/Service.php ( 0.77 KB )
  57. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Middleware.php ( 6.72 KB )
  58. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/initializer/BootService.php ( 0.77 KB )
  59. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/Paginator.php ( 11.86 KB )
  60. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-validate/src/Validate.php ( 63.20 KB )
  61. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/Model.php ( 23.55 KB )
  62. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/model/concern/Attribute.php ( 21.05 KB )
  63. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/model/concern/AutoWriteData.php ( 4.21 KB )
  64. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/model/concern/Conversion.php ( 6.44 KB )
  65. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/model/concern/DbConnect.php ( 5.16 KB )
  66. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/model/concern/ModelEvent.php ( 2.33 KB )
  67. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/model/concern/RelationShip.php ( 28.29 KB )
  68. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-helper/src/contract/Arrayable.php ( 0.09 KB )
  69. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-helper/src/contract/Jsonable.php ( 0.13 KB )
  70. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/model/contract/Modelable.php ( 0.09 KB )
  71. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Db.php ( 2.88 KB )
  72. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/DbManager.php ( 8.52 KB )
  73. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Log.php ( 6.28 KB )
  74. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Manager.php ( 3.92 KB )
  75. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/psr/log/src/LoggerTrait.php ( 2.69 KB )
  76. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/psr/log/src/LoggerInterface.php ( 2.71 KB )
  77. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Cache.php ( 4.92 KB )
  78. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/psr/simple-cache/src/CacheInterface.php ( 4.71 KB )
  79. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-helper/src/helper/Arr.php ( 16.63 KB )
  80. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/cache/driver/File.php ( 7.84 KB )
  81. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/cache/Driver.php ( 9.03 KB )
  82. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/contract/CacheHandlerInterface.php ( 1.99 KB )
  83. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/Request.php ( 0.09 KB )
  84. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Request.php ( 55.78 KB )
  85. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/middleware.php ( 0.25 KB )
  86. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Pipeline.php ( 2.61 KB )
  87. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-trace/src/TraceDebug.php ( 3.40 KB )
  88. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/middleware/SessionInit.php ( 1.94 KB )
  89. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Session.php ( 1.80 KB )
  90. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/session/driver/File.php ( 6.27 KB )
  91. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/contract/SessionHandlerInterface.php ( 0.87 KB )
  92. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/session/Store.php ( 7.12 KB )
  93. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Route.php ( 23.73 KB )
  94. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/route/RuleName.php ( 5.75 KB )
  95. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/route/Domain.php ( 2.53 KB )
  96. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/route/RuleGroup.php ( 22.43 KB )
  97. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/route/Rule.php ( 26.95 KB )
  98. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/route/RuleItem.php ( 9.78 KB )
  99. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/route/app.php ( 1.72 KB )
  100. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/facade/Route.php ( 4.70 KB )
  101. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/route/dispatch/Controller.php ( 4.74 KB )
  102. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/route/Dispatch.php ( 10.44 KB )
  103. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/controller/Index.php ( 4.81 KB )
  104. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/app/BaseController.php ( 2.05 KB )
  105. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/facade/Db.php ( 0.93 KB )
  106. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/connector/Mysql.php ( 5.44 KB )
  107. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/PDOConnection.php ( 52.47 KB )
  108. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/Connection.php ( 8.39 KB )
  109. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/ConnectionInterface.php ( 4.57 KB )
  110. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/builder/Mysql.php ( 16.58 KB )
  111. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/Builder.php ( 24.06 KB )
  112. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/BaseBuilder.php ( 27.50 KB )
  113. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/Query.php ( 15.71 KB )
  114. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/BaseQuery.php ( 45.13 KB )
  115. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/TimeFieldQuery.php ( 7.43 KB )
  116. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/AggregateQuery.php ( 3.26 KB )
  117. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/ModelRelationQuery.php ( 20.07 KB )
  118. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/ParamsBind.php ( 3.66 KB )
  119. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/ResultOperation.php ( 7.01 KB )
  120. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/WhereQuery.php ( 19.37 KB )
  121. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/JoinAndViewQuery.php ( 7.11 KB )
  122. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/TableFieldInfo.php ( 2.63 KB )
  123. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-orm/src/db/concern/Transaction.php ( 2.77 KB )
  124. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/log/driver/File.php ( 5.96 KB )
  125. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/contract/LogHandlerInterface.php ( 0.86 KB )
  126. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/log/Channel.php ( 3.89 KB )
  127. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/event/LogRecord.php ( 1.02 KB )
  128. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-helper/src/Collection.php ( 16.47 KB )
  129. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/facade/View.php ( 1.70 KB )
  130. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/View.php ( 4.39 KB )
  131. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Response.php ( 8.81 KB )
  132. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/response/View.php ( 3.29 KB )
  133. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/Cookie.php ( 6.06 KB )
  134. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-view/src/Think.php ( 8.38 KB )
  135. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/framework/src/think/contract/TemplateHandlerInterface.php ( 1.60 KB )
  136. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-template/src/Template.php ( 46.61 KB )
  137. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-template/src/template/driver/File.php ( 2.41 KB )
  138. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-template/src/template/contract/DriverInterface.php ( 0.86 KB )
  139. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/runtime/temp/c1d6e8c94b2c2fa10e259903674c804d.php ( 8.11 KB )
  140. /www/wwwroot/h.sjds.net/vendor/topthink/think-trace/src/Html.php ( 4.42 KB )
  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000867s ] mysql:host=172.18.0.4;port=3306;dbname=h_sjds;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.001057s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000424s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000408s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000678s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000347s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000702s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 577769 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000399s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1794084465 WHERE `id` = 577769 [ RunTime:0.001661s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000352s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 577769 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000455s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 577769 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000366s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 577769 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.000515s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 577769 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.000476s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 577769 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.000466s ]
0.086294s