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分手后他成了我的Excel“债主”

  • 2026-10-24 09:13:00
分手后他成了我的Excel“债主”
— 投稿 · 九爷 —

分手后他列了份

Excel 账单给我

2026.06

"我们分开半年了,昨天他发了一份 Excel 给我。"

背景:我们是在九爷文章留言区认识的,相处了六个月。他比我大六岁,做财务的。当时觉得年龄不是问题,性格也合得来,他对我也算大方——至少当时我是这么以为的哈。

分开的导火索:他希望我能去他的城市发展。他是自由职业,没有地域限制。我是体制内工作,走不了。

她
要不你到我这呀
他
不行,我习惯了现在的城市
之后逐渐冷淡,最后就好聚好散

我以为这件事就这么过去了。成年人分手不就是这样吗,难过几天而已。

直到昨天

📎

昨天晚上我在家看红果,正乐呵呢,他给我发了个微信,发了一个文件。文件名是"2025年度费用明细.xlsx"。

我点开之前还以为他发错人了呢...

点开之后吧,还没仔细看,感觉就是表格做得很漂亮,不亏是专业财务出身,哈哈哈。

但是认真一看呢....好家伙,五个 Sheet 标签页,逐条逐条,六个月。没想到天天看段子,能发生在自己身上, 估计也是九爷的文章给了他灵感,我也很好奇,他在做这个决定的时候,内心的两个小人没有在打架吗?还是全票通过?

SHEET
01 餐饮
奶茶一杯18 元
备注:她要的芋泥波波,中杯。
火锅238 元
备注:她说她请客,我抢着买了,她没再提AA。

我看到这条备注的时候,我真的...那顿火锅确实我说"我来请"来着,他说不用,我就没坚持。后来只要是他付的餐饮,都列了。我付的那些,一行都没有。 (可能没有消费记录)

SHEET 02 交通
停车场35 元/次 × 7 次
送她回家绕路12 元/次 × 3 次
(预估油耗)真的就离谱啊

九爷,12 块钱的油耗,他都是咋算的。

SHEET 03 礼物
生日礼物399 元
备注:随礼,非赠与。

我反复读了几遍这两个词。"随礼"和"非赠与"。我们在一起六个月,他送我东西都是给我转账让我自己喜欢啥就买啥,因为都是转的支付宝,我真的都没仔细看小字...

春节红包188.88 元
共享充电宝6 元(代付)

6 块钱,他记了。另外还有些道具,这个应该不能写。

SHEET 04
其他
情绪价值折合 / 月
500 元 × 6 个月
= 3,000 元
按市场标准下限计:陪熬夜、打游戏、哄我、开导我

前面那些是给我气笑了,这个是真给我看笑了。"市场标准下限"——我想知道的是:这个市场标准是哪来的?是谁定的价?啊?

SHEET 05 汇总
总 计
9,847.32 元
方便的话转我,不方便可以分期(还挺细心)
▎ 关 键

那小数点后两位的 .32 元,我不知道是怎么算出来的。

某次我喝了他一口奶茶?

真的真的让我觉得这六个月像一场彻头彻尾的笑话。

如果他写个一万块,我可能还会觉得他在赌气。但他精确到了小数点后两位—— 这不是赌气,这是做账。

我到现在没回他。

不是不想给这个钱。九千多块我付得起。但我不知道该怎么回。

Option A
回"好的我转你" → 太便宜他了,自己恶心自己
Option B
回"你是不是有病" → 他应该会截图,再加一条精神损失费
九爷的问题

在一段关系结束之后,往回要钱的,他到底在想什么?

是真的觉得自己亏了这九千块,还是他需要用这九千块来证明——

你看,是你欠我的,不是我放不下。

哪一种都让我觉得很难过。

基本 文件 流程 错误 SQL 调试
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  3. 缓存信息 : 0 reads,0 writes
  4. 会话信息 : SESSION_ID=b025e18e8b4e76b25ecb9bb8a308af15
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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000577s ] mysql:host=172.18.0.4;port=3306;dbname=h_sjds;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000813s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000397s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000401s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000738s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000362s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000798s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 529293 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000432s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1792947927 WHERE `id` = 529293 [ RunTime:0.001699s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000384s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 529293 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000608s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 529293 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000474s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 529293 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.000717s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 529293 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.000659s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 529293 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.000862s ]
0.101592s